Blind
by 360round
Summary: There was no fear. There was neither pain nor sorrow. There was only anger. But afterwards, when it’s over, is there someone waiting? Do you still have enough of yourself left to see them? Will you wait forever just to know you've lost it all? [NaruSasu]


**A/N**: I know I shouldn't be dividing my concentration into two different things, but it's just a one-shot. I think I can handle it. Or can I? Yeah, I'm trying to be angsty. Maybe I can't handle that. I guessing afterwards, you'll be thinking, wtf, that wasn't angsty enough to be called angsty. Well, this is the best angst I can produce at the time, so that's that. I guess I'm a sucker for romantic and fluffy endings, so maybe this isn't an angsty piece. Right now I don't know how this will end, so hopefully I will know soon whether I should put it under romance or angst. It'll probably turn out Romance/Angst, but… Well, anyway… I don't really have to do these rants, so you don't really need to read them… :o So… Go on… read the real thing down there now.

**Summary**: There was no fear. There was neither pain nor sorrow. There was only anger. But afterwards, when it's over, is there someone waiting? Do you still have enough of yourself left to see them? One-shot, angsty/romance [NaruSasu

**Disclaimer**:I could say I own it, get rich (well, my Naruto series would end with all the sexy boys having animal sex with their destined partners coughrevivingDeidaracough , which **would** sell good, don't deny it, you pervs) and elope with my God Itachi, but I guess there's a little snag. That I don't own it and Masashi Kimoto would hate me and and spite me by killing off my beloved Akatsuki Itachi. So I won't say no nuthin'.

**Pairings**: NaruSasu. Maybe hints of something else, tell me if you think so.

**Warnings**: Minor fluff, strong language.

**Notice**: Sasuke is nineteen. Itachi is twenty four.

* * *

Sasuke's ragged breath could be heard throughout the entire cave. His clothes were torn; his weapons were used up, thrown away into the dark. Almost no chakra was left, and the remaining was circulating desperately though his body to keep him from collapsing, helping his heart to keep pumping. His brain was empty, not comprehending with reality.

He couldn't kill his own brother.

He couldn't win.

He couldn't even move.

It wasn't like he had been struck with emotions forcing him to go easy on his brother, no; he was completely serious in his quest. But he couldn't feel his own muscles going limp with the pain. He couldn't see the blood dripping down his body. He couldn't hear his heartbeat pounding in a frantic pace inside his torn chest. He couldn't feel the emotion labeled fear swirling around in his veins, numbing his brain. He couldn't see his older brother standing in front of him, in the same critical condition he was in. He couldn't feel the familiar chakra from the villagers from his former home closing up.

There was just nothing left to feel, to hear, to see, to believe. He could neither understand the situation he was faced with. The rage furiously coursed through his numb body.

A draw.

_**A DRAW!**_

How could this be?

In all battles, there was a winner and a loser.

But now… He wouldn't get the revenge he had longed for since the death of his family. Itachi wouldn't be able to measure the depth of his container. Nothing was solved.

And yet, this was the only was to solve things. But nothing was won, and nothing was lost. There was nothing gained. It had all been for naught. Everything but success was a failure. He was a failure. Everything had been a failure. All those years of training, all those years of enduring unspeakable pain just so he could stand in triumph after this very battle, his goal in life. But he hadn't achieved this goal.

And, now, he thought, I don't know what to do.

Sasuke fell to his knees as his older brother slid down the cave wall behind him, leaning his head back. Itachi had understood and comprehended with reality, and therefore still had the upper hand. Sasuke forced himself to stay conscious, but white dots started merging together with his vision, forcing unfocussed thoughts onto him.

Both of them were still alive! He didn't want this! No! This was wrong!

Suddenly, a movement from Itachi's side of the cave was detected. Sasuke strained his eyes to see anything. Everything seemed to blur together, and his eyes felt warm against his skin, like the eyeballs itself were gathering heat.

What was happening to his eyes?

What was Itachi doing?

"Otouto…" Itachi's voice rang throughout the cold space, harsh and hoarse, tones barely reaching out of his throat. "It seems you hate enough now."

The older man rose slowly and just as slowly formed a hand seal, as if each movement caused with great pain. And in a thin cloud of smoke, his brother disappeared and slipped out of his grasp once again. Sasuke couldn't even soak up the satisfaction in knowing that Itachi probably used up all his chakra and would die halfway through that transportation jutsu and even though Sasuke had wounded him badly with his own hands, he still felt like when he was a child.

Left behind, emptied and just as pathetically weak as twelve years ago.

Twelve years and nothing had changed since.

Twelve years spent in agony, never resting to acquire the power to kill the reason for his existence. All for nothing.

Sasuke crawled to the empty spot Itachi had sat on a few seconds ago, curled up in a ball and leaned against the cold stone wall, wishing he was someone else.

He didn't want to be himself. Not now.

But who did he want to be then? Someone stronger than himself? Someone weaker? Someone happier? Someone emotionally dead, like he had tried to become?

Sasuke tried to repress the urge to empty his guts on the cave floor.

He didn't want to be someone else.

Sasuke wanted someone.

He wanted Naruto. He wanted the blonde to help him, to solve his problems and ease his sorrow, like only he could do. There was something about Naruto that set him on fire inside, made him feel happy with the life he was leading, just because he was there.

The raven was drained, but not ignorant. He could feel his former friends closing up on him, running towards the cave in an impressive speed. They would be here in approximately two minutes. He closer his eyelids over his eyes which still felt out of place. There was Kakashi along with Sakura and Sai. Inuzuka, Aburame, the two Hyuugas, Lee, Tenten, Akimichi, Yamanaka, Nara and… Naruto.

He could feel Naruto's chakra so close, almost licking his torn skin.

A puddle of water dripped down next to his right knee.

Sasuke bent over and stared at his own reflection.

His vision was still blurry, but he could still make out the fact that his blood red eyes were spinning around in a fast pace, even though he himself consciously did nothing of the sort. It was as if the three little black dots in his Sharingan were dancing, occasionally bumping into each other and slowing the tempo.

And then they stopped.

He stared in fascination at his own dotted appearance in the water mirror that in a fraction of a second changed into terror as soon as he saw what happened. Tears welled up into his new eyes, unable to stop them. He didn't even try to.

He had three years ago seen Kakashi's Mangekyo Sharingan and had realized that if his former teacher had been trained the way Itachi was, he would be more powerful than the strongest Kage. Itachi's Mangekyo differed from Kakashi's, and the younger Uchiha had chosen to not go along the ways Itachi had followed.

He had long ago decided he would not acquire the Mangekyo Sharingan in the cold way his older brother did.

But now, the person he hated the most was staring back at him in the reflection. Itachi's eyes were paralyzing his nearly numb body. Itachi's features, Itachi's chiseled chin, Itachi's hair, everything about them had always been similar, but never the same. At this moment, the man staring back at him was himself. But he wasn't Sasuke anymore. Itachi had even managed to weasel his way into his body and destroyed that for him the same way he had done to his heart and brain.

Something inside Sasuke broke.

He threw himself away from the puddle as fast as his wounded body would allow, pressing himself against the rough wall, his entire body shook with fear and disgust and failure and everything! This was not supposed to happen!

He wasn't like Itachi!

He wasn't!

He wasn't like Itachi…

He really wasn't…

The mental barrier protecting him fell and shattered into a million burning pieces and turned his insides into a flaming inferno. The hot tears spilled down his cheeks and he started sobbing quietly, whispering over and over again, as if the memento of his brother and their similarities would disappear.

"I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm _not…_"

"SASUKE!"

That was Sakura. He heard running steps and quickly pressed himself further into the wall, covering his dirty, treacherous eyes with his white palms which sported glistering blood specks.

Someone landed in front of him. Sasuke noticed his eyes didn't burn against his eyelids anymore. The transformation was complete. Sasuke Uchiha, second version, plan B, second born, second place, alternative, the failsafe who now had completed his father's wish. There were two Itachi. The change also did something for his sight. Even though he had shut his eyes hard and covered them with his hands, he could see through them. He could see through his own flesh and blood. Kakashi was visible through his own hands.

The Konoha ninjas gathered around him.

"I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not…" he continued to whisper fearfully into his hands, as if oblivious to their existence.

Kakashi had a second ago been on his guard for an attack from his former student, but was now totally relaxed when he saw how badly injured Sasuke was. He couldn't land one punch on the jounin even if his very life depended on it. Reaching out, he pried the slender hands away from his face and they lifelessly fell down into his lap without any resistance, exposing his tearstained face and the wet eyelashes with small, sparkling drops shining.

He did not open his eyes.

Why should he?

"I'm not, not, not, not, I'm not, not, _I'm not_…" the small sobbing reduced into almost inaudible whimpers which were uttered in an erratic pace.

He could see them, and they would know what a monster he was.

They would hate him.

Sasuke abruptly changed his incoherent train of thought.

He didn't care what most of them thought.

Sakura, a little bit, perhaps. Not much. She had never been that close to him anyway.

Not like Naruto. Naruto wouldn't hate him. Couldn't. There wouldn't be any meaning to anything if Naruto hated him. Everything would be pointless. There would be… it would be… Black. It would be black if Naruto hated him. Endless black. An abyss of black nothing. It was Naruto keeping him from this irrevocable black. He didn't want to go there. Never again.

"Sasuke?" Sakura said, kneeling next to Kakashi.

She reached out and stroked a strand of ebony hair away from his cheek. He winced slightly at the friendly human touch. It was… almost forgotten.

"Go away." he whispered, voice cracking slightly. "Go away, go away, go a_way_…"

"It's me. Sakura. Sasuke, are you…" she tried to think of the right word to say, and failed. "… okay?"

His only response was pressing his knees up against his chest, binding his arms around them tight.

He could see, through his tightly shut eyes how she grew sadder each second. Guess she did care about him in a strong, deeper way. He had always hated the way she clung to him before she got over her hopeless crush. Always trying to please him with her ridiculous seducing and flailing about which he never responded to anyway.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said sternly, as if talking to a dangerous prisoner, which in a way, he was. "Open your eyes."

Sasuke felt the tears well up again and forced their way under his eyelids out onto his pale cheeks. How could he show this to Naruto? How in the name of God could he show he had become the very thing he had betrayed them all to destroy? It was impossible. Naruto was never to see this. He would just never open his eyes ever again.

"Sasuke…" Sakura said in a soft tone, but it was transparent she was about to burst into tears.

Maybe he could open them just once for Sakura to know. She was trustworthy. The cursed mark had been a similar case in a desperately smaller scale, but she had been worried. But still kept quiet. He could show her. Just once. Only once.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. The Mangekyo Sharingan dirtied his face, shining still. It seemed it wanted to be present when he died from the exhaustion, the pain and his open wounds.

Kakashi noted it, and thought a second before answering. "It's normal not to see for a few minutes when the Mangekyo kicks in. You'll be back in no time."

The silver-haired man shifted.

"Can you see us?"

He nodded and the movement wouldn't have been noticed if it wasn't expected. He closed his eyes again. Not because he wanted to obscure his vision, which it did not, but to shield his imperfection.

Something blue appeared on Kakashi's shoulder. Five almost invisible threads rested on the clothed collarbone which soon intertwined with each other into a bigger thread that still was barely visible. After taking the whole picture in, he realized it was a chakra system that should be residing inside someone's body. But it was hanging in the air without a body to accompany with.

Kakashi moved, and so did Sakura, to allow the chakra net to crouch down in front of him.

That chakra was familiar. A red spiral adorned the net where a stomach would sit if the chakra had a body.

Sasuke knew that chakra and would do so in any situation.

Naruto.

That could only be Naruto.

The mere presence of the powerful chakra tickled his skin.

Sasuke realized that he couldn't see Naruto's face. There was nothing but almost invisible chakra threads.

That was the ultimate limit. Itachi had taken everything from him. Even the sanctuary Naruto had created for just the two of them Itachi had managed to destroy. Sasuke forced his eyes open and tried to focus on the faint lines, but they seemed to fade the more he tried to see them. A wave of terror washed over him.

Five seconds ago, Naruto's chakra system had been right in front of him. Now there was nothing but air, yet it wasn't. He could still hear the younger male breathing, could sense him. But he could just as well have been invisible.

The tears stopped flowing, and Sasuke tried to recompose himself. He was making such a big deal out of it.

A warm presence descended on his shoulder, and Sasuke guessed it was Naruto's hand. The tears watered his eyes and blurred his vision, burning, but he refused to let them fall. He had made a fool out of himself enough now. But he wanted to let go of everything… He wanted to just return into the sanctuary and be there forever.

"Sasuke… You're alive at least." Naruto said, sounding gentle and careful. How could he be so calm?

Sasuke roughly pushed the hand away from him and buried his head in his knees. He sensed that Naruto scooted closer, trying to understand.

"Sasuke…?" the blonde sounded sincerely concerned. "You are okay, aren't you? I mean, you're practically gutted now, but if we sew you together, you'll live, right?"

The Uchiha felt the incredibly bubbly urge to laugh. Naruto hadn't changed at all since his departure. He was just as happy, and blunt, and cute, and inconsiderate, and blubbering, and idiotic, and stupid and moronic and just… Naruto.

Against his will, a lone tear slid down his face and landed on his torn pants, soaking them.

"Hey." the warm voice said again, and he felt something press underneath his chin, pushing his face up again. He stared into air, but he knew Naruto had slid his face closer to his own, kneeling. He could hear their breath intermingling and his feet touching the clothed knees. "Are you okay?"

"No." he answered truthfully and his eyes were for the countless time filled to the rim with floating diamonds.

"Then what is it?"

He hesitated.

"I can't see you." he whispered, knowing he wouldn't hear his answer.

"What?" Naruto said.

"I…"

It was too much. It burned him. His only freedom. His only happiness. His only love.

His everything. Right there in front of him. And he couldn't see him.

"What?" Naruto repeated, and Sasuke felt the rest of the party which to this point had been neglected listened intently.

"I… I…"

He swallowed and his tongue felt too big to fit in his mouth.

"I can't see you."

He reached out and slowly let it sweep the area in front of him and in a second hit wished target. Landing one hand on a shoulder and one on the waist, he seeped the body heat into his numb hands. It felt like someone was pumping life into them again. He ran the left hand out along the length of Naruto's arm to the fingertips, and grabbed the tan hand, intertwining their fingers and lowering them down the floor.

"What do you mean 'I can't see you'?" Naruto said angrily.

"I can't see you." he simply said, sounding so usual even though he was about to collapse in a heap of his own misery.

The right hand slid up the waist to the shoulder, passing an ear and lingered for a while on the whiskered cheeks.

He could imagine how much he looked like a little child right now.

"What do you mean by that, bastard! I'm right here!"

The tears finally spilled and Sasuke reached his final limit.

"It means I can't see you, you fucking idiot!"

With that, he closed his tainted eyes and fell to the ground.

* * *

Somewhere, a part of Sasuke was conscious. A part of him could see how the blonde in panic threw him over his shoulder and rushed back to Konoha, a half hour away. Something inside him noticed vaguely how the rest of the team faded away in the distance because of the sheer speed Naruto was traveling in. An inhuman speed. Something only Naruto could do.

"_Tsunade-sama! The bleeding won't stop! The wounds are too deep, and most of the life threatening injuries are located inside__ his cell structure!"_

A part of Sasuke knew how panicked Naruto felt, and he couldn't help but feel glad. Naruto loved him. He just knew it. There was only the strong bond between them that made Naruto able to reach the Hokage building and drag Tsunade away from her paperwork to fix him up. Not that she had protested at all. She hated him, alright. But the old woman also knew how much the raven meant to Naruto.

"_The internal bleeding in spreading from an unknown wound and the heartbeat it getting irregular! Clear! He's not responding. Be careful! I'll try to load some excessive healing chakra into his enhanced chakra points."_

A part of him could hear Naruto screaming in rage and crying in fear outside the operation room. He knew how that felt, and if he could have, he would have gone out there and told him it'd be alright. But he didn't have any control over his body. It felt like he was just a floating conscience with no power whatsoever.

"_What's happening to him?! He can't die! Don't you dare die on me! Sasuke!"_

"_His breathing has stopped. We need to get the lungs working again."_

"_Sasuke! Come on now! LIVE!"_

He could see Sakura sitting in a chair in the arms of Ino, crying violently while the blonde girl tried the best she could to console the younger girl.

"_His vital organs are failing on us!"_

"_COME ON NOW! BASTARD!"_

"_He's breathing! The internal bleeding has been temporarily stopped"_

"_Thank God!"_

The awake conscious residing in Sasuke noticed the way Naruto's shoulders slumped when he heard the Uchiha had started breathing again, relaxing.

"_His heart has stopped!"_

"_We're losing him!"_

Naruto pressed up against the glass window into the operation zone, eyes red and puffy with flushed cheeks to match. Sakura choking on her tears, while Ino shoved her face into the medical kunoichi's neck to hide her own tears. None of the present Konoha ninjas dared to approach Naruto, but suffered just because of his visible extreme pain.

"_We're losing him!"_

_Silence._

"_No, wait, he's getting back up!"_

_Silence broken._

"_Wait, he's going into a coma!"_

_Silence._

"… _He's… temporarily down. But Tsunade-sama, with these injuries, there's a very small chance he'll recover or wake up!" _

"_Be quiet."_

"_But, Tsunade-sama –"_

"_I said be quiet! You think I don't know this?!"_

* * *

Naruto sat on a chair beside Sasuke's bed in the Konoha Hospital.

It had been a month since the operation. Thirty-seven days, to be accurate. Naruto had not been outside room 42 since that operation. He had not spoken to anyone in the same amount of time and spent his days just watching his everything sleeping in that goddamned hospital bed.

Most people had given up.

Most people had their own thoughts about the raven.

He was going to die anyway.

When he wakes up he's going to take off again. What could it be here now that would make him want to stay when he left in the first place?

Who cared if he woke up?

Naruto did.

The blonde reached out and gently caressed the cold hand. The blood was still running there in his veins. There was still some Sasuke inside that body. And Naruto was not going to leave this room until that Sasuke showed himself again.

Both of them had gone blind.

* * *

(Notice) Just in case, if you are all; "who the fuck are all those people Sasuke noticed coming?!" when he sensed their arrival, here's the deal: They're the Konoha twelve, and those are their last names because Sasuke isn't comfortable calling them their real names because they never were that close. And, yeah, Tenten and Lee aren't pronounced by their last names. Because, one, no one calls Lee 'Rock' when they want to be, e.g. hostile. And second, Tenten doesn't have a last name (annoying, the same goes for Temari and Kankurou, though they're not in this story, but they don't have last names either).

**A/N**: Well, dang, it turned out to be an angsty piece in the end. I feel so down right now, I shouldn't be writing this stuff. I'll be having nightmares of my family dying a couple of days now. Do you realize how this piece of angst will torture me? Yes? Good, then, my kind hearted fellow, break out of your hopefully tearful state and leave a review to comfort me. :D


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